Crazy how some things turn out

I have been dealing with a lot the past two weeks. Not only is school getting extremely busy with position papers being due, meeting with partners to write those papers, but also finishing my lesson, starting my classes up, and trying to schedule another class for my practicum. I have family drama to deal with.

I have a hard time getting in touch with people when I'm stressed out, have so many responsibilities to school, and am driving at least 2 hours a day. It's exhausting. The thing that gets lost in my mind is the thought to call family members and this isn't right but I have no idea how to change this at this present time. 
What stresses me out even more is when people get upset because I haven't called them or haven't kept in touch but I have seen one friend on one separate occasion. A friend who I have probably hung out with once in the last 2 months, since Christmas. I thought things were fine. At this moment in time I need understanding and support because my schedule and project is keeping me very busy and I have a hard time getting motivated to do it most of the time. I have great support from the people I am working with and they have set me up with some great opportunities. For example, I found out that I have the opportunity to go to DC for a couple of days, all expenses paid just for volunteering at the Food Shuttle. I'm very excited. Thomas is happy for me and I thank God everyday I have him because without him, I'd be alone in this whole process and doubt I would be this far without his love and support. 

What gets me is that some people in my family want to bring me down. Make me feel guilty for the time and effort I'm putting into my project and into school. Also, for things that happened years ago. I've been in school for almost 7 years and now is the time they bring up issues, 2 months before I'm done and 4 months before I get married. They want to make me feel guilty for wanting help with showers and things that I feel really shouldn't be planned by myself since it's for me and Thomas. Doesn't make sense to me. But still I should feel guilty for a party that people want to throw me. If you don't want to do it then say so. I don't want to exclude anyone that is supposed to be in my wedding, but I can't have negativity and people that I don't feel really even care if it all works out. I feel like it would be very fake to have them standing up there with me and I am not going to deal just so I won't regret it later. I'll regret living that lie. 
As far as no contact goes, a tweet is not a reach out. It is not a form of communication that has no meaning when it comes to being interested in someone's life especially if there are negative connotations to that tweet. I have a phone and you have a phone and it's a two way street as far as communication and calling someone goes. I may not have called you but you didn't call me either.
With the combination of the guilt I feel for not being around my family (yes I have been feeling this way and I don't need to feel worse), stress from school, projects, volunteering, teaching, planning, driving all the time, wedding planning, picking out things that I know won't please everyone, getting others to do their part in this wedding process, as well as keep my place clean and all the other goals I've made for myself this year, I"M EXHAUSTED.
I'm at my breaking point. I need a break and won't receive one until this semester is through. 
Somehow I'm supposed to get work done today but I see very little getting done because I'm so bothered by someone's attack of my character. 

I haven't blogged in a while but the way I'm feeling today has made me feel like I just need to write it out. I hate writing about drama in such a public way but since everything I have online would just start a war, this is my option.

Look who's growing up

It has been an interesting week, that is for sure. One thing I am not going to go into a lot of details about because I do not want to jinx myself. However, I will say that if it goes through, I will be one happy girl. I am lucky to be where I am now.
I'm also being initiated into the Honor society at my college, so I'm pretty stoked about that. 

School has finally taken that turn to craziness, along with the above, I am still hard at work on my practicum, my class is getting demanding with a lot of reading and now a paper to research for (it's due in 2.5 weeks), I've signed up to be a tutor for the metabolism class this semester, I'm trying to keep my house clean, and at the same time trying to be on top of wedding things as well. My grandmother is hosting with her best friend a bridal tea and needs a guest list and I haven't even began to work on it. I feel quite overwhelmed. I have scheduled my bridal portraits with the photographer in April so I'm excited about that.


This past weekend, I went to Myrtle Beach with my best friend and it was an eye opening experience to say the least. The goal was to get my friend's mind off her ex-boyfriend and I think she succeeded but at the same time, I just feel like I was put in an uncomfortable position. As a single girl, she pretty much wanted to meet guys and I mean that's always the goal when you are single. I understand but as I am getting married in 4 months to the best guy, I feel like my place is not in the club scene. I went as her support system but all it did was make me feel uncomfortable and it was hard to have fun especially when I was really missing Thomas the whole night. Guys that go to clubs like that are never good news and it made me feel very lucky for what I have with my guy. So, the night didn't end very well for me and I think I'm going to stay away from that scene permanently. I've really outgrown it. 
Especially since my focus 99% of the time is my family and my schooling. 

The best part of my weekend? Buying my first Coach purse.

Very excited!

I rarely want to spend over 100 dollars for a purse but I figured its time to get over it just this once. ;)

We tried running on the beach this weekend and that didn't end well either. I felt like my lungs were on fire and I could barely feel my toes afterwards. Kudos to runners who run in all weather conditions, jeez.

Workout schedule for this week (even though it is chaotic):

Monday: gym (elliptical workout) + abs

Tuesday: Home workout + arms

Wednesday: One hour yoga

Thursday: treadmill + legs

Friday: HIIT  cardio

Saturday:OFF

Sunday: OFF

Favorite Songs right now: